The Unknown

The Unknown

Jumiya Arleen Crump

Heard/Arlington County Detention Facility writing contest, August 2019

My insecurities got me stressed

because in certain areas I wasn’t blessed.

Stuck wondering why me and how I got caught up in such a mess.

He loves me, He loves me I keep telling myself

yes, yes oh yes.

Yet his actions speak loudly

if only he would verbalize his feelings to eliminate my distress.

Why so cruel?

Why ever so rude?

What did I do? Why me?

Why did you make me the fool?

Beautiful Beautiful Blessing are those words no longer true.

My eyes are closed

kiss my forehead, take away the pain

please don’t leave me stained.

You hurt me, I hurt you,

I hurt you, you hurt me.

I thought those days were over finished through.

IF I’m dreamin please wake me

please wake me

cause I know I have to be mistaken

or no longer sober.

I fought for you, you fought for me,

we fought each other only to discover that you love me,

and I love you, we love we, so why can’t we be?

Do you no longer love we?

Do you no longer love me?

Answer me

I’m pleading with you and I only want what’s true.

Don’t leave me hanging like I’m a sudden stranger.

See my anger had me hostile

my true feelings had me feeling like a child.

I didn’t know how to be that statue and stand proud.

So I took it way back to love taps,

for lack of a better way to express my true thoughts.

Now today I’m sad and stuck wondering how?

Why me?

Don’t you love me?

I hope you didn’t add a she to replace little ole me,

and if so you and she could never be we.

With all sincerity I hope you’re happy

just please don’t forget to love me.

The Choice Is Yours

The Choice Is Yours

Jumiya Arleen Crump

Heard/Arlington County Detention Facility writing contest, August 2019

I cried so many tears,

I have no more

I just fold.

Put trust in filthy people

that my heart it’s so cold.

You win some and you lose some

knowledge wisdom it’s gold.

Expand your mind to ease your time

for peace you unload.

Pray for the best expect some mess,

that’s just how it goes.

IF you’re loved they hate

just find some faith and pray

your soul stuck in a cell

I think its hell,

I’m desperate it shows.

No friends, no visits, no fam,

no money no hope for unknown.

But still I try to hold my head

cause only God knows.

When in distress I know I’m blessed

I breathe and let go.

Thought you was me and I was you

together were’ bold.

But you hate me and I love you

why ever so cold.

My down-fall was a dollar but a dollar was pleasing,

it had my back it kept me smack on pace and from freezing.

I found the piece which lead to peace

my puzzle is golden.

In forgiveness there is power,

for my power I’ve chosen

sometimes it’s best to let go give

so that the humble can live.

For a fool is just a fool who claim the wise looking in none is chosen.

No man is righteous for he is lifeless.

But through the son and faith alone

His grace His mercy was shown.

It’s up to you the choice is yours.

With that knowledge I’m gone.

No Place Like Home

No Place Like Home

Jumiya Arleen Crump

Heard/Arlington County Detention Facility writing contest, August 2019

I remember plenty nights all I wanted was you.

Couldn’t explain deep inside so I become a young fool.

Kicking, scratching, biting, punching

determined never to lose.

You was all I ever had the only person I knew.

You was my pride and joy

that sunshine that never fades forget the clouds and the storms.

I remember crystal clear the day the glass was broken

shattered home, shattered dreams words left unspoken.

I never knew that one event would change my life forever.

If I could do it all over, I’ll take my beatings with pleasure.

The disconnect it runs deep so steep,

my heart steel body aching,

mind racing

mixed up and confused.

Every night I close my eyes I pray I wake up home

but reality sit in everything that glitters ain’t gold.

Not saying you was right, not saying I was wrong

the underlining truth is there’s no place like home.

Praying and wishing

wishing and praying

that you rescue me from this zone.

Thoughts consumed with the evil and so much rage.

Only wanting you, for you were supposed to shelter me from the storm.

Out on my own needing protection from the cold cruel world

or did I need protection from myself?

Did I corrupt this broken little girl.

Love

Love

Jumiya Arleen Crump

Heard/Arlington County Detention Facility writing contest, August 2019

When it rain it pours,

often mistaken for lust with no trust.

Fearful yet so thoughtful and selfish

all in one.

Deliberate obsession unknowingly repuviate hate to the upmost

with a nearly invisible line between the two

so pure yet extremely confusing

which leads to conflicted confrontation holding on for dear life.

For it must endure.

Give and take, give and take so it’s hard to ignore

but what do you do when enough is enough

and there’s no more.

Do you continue to live a life every day asking why?

Or do you take a stand and hold his hand

because deep inside that’s your man.

Do you take the storm with the rain or continue to live in shame.

Can you place your pride to the side

cause before the paint here was trust and no lie.

To be or not to be.

 

Diagnose

Diagnose

Jumiya Arleen Crump

Heard/Arlington County Detention Facility writing contest, August 2019

OD, PTSD, bipolar, anxiety, and depression

that’s what they label me as.

In need of a hug and respect

is what I label me as.

Betrayal and defeat

body extremely weak.

Head pounding heart aching body shaking mind racing

in need of a fix

a high that make me feel like I can fly,

fly far away to the point of no return. Beat beat beat the sound slowly fades away

to the unknown faint cries and pleas asking why?

But my cries were never heard

so let the dearly beloved depart.

Every face has a mask and an unknown mission

that create or resolve an underlying issue

so no need to revive just let go slowly

but for some reason the heart won’t quit

and instead only keep living on slowly.

She loves me she loves me not.

He loves me or maybe not

oh why oh why must I continue to suffer

but constantly surviving my every day struggles.