by redclay | Dec 19, 2019 | Detention Center Writing Contests, Poetry
My Beautiful Misery
Marcos P.
Heard/Alexandria Detention Center writing contest, August, 2019
Its anguish, and painful sorrow flowing through
my blood stream.
Every time she leave the visitation swear my soul
bleed.
You ever see a rose bloom in a dark crease
thats me when my baby say she love me.
Her eyes tell me what she feel when her spirit is
hurting.
Cry to me and tell me all your issues I’m at your
service.
My smile is a curtain cause I can’t leave
her burden worrying about the worthless jailbird
in a caged nest.
Hyperventilating, my chest cave’s in
When I’m all alone in my cell
I miss her soft lips kisses taste like daises.
on the phone with her, the passion in her
make me laugh and giggle said its one minute
left now I wanna cry a river.
Your the word real in its purest form.
No human I know is authentic the way you counsel.
You were the damsel in distress and I’m the hero
who flew and caught you, without a parrachute
Cause when I seen that brilliant smile almost
went blind and I almost dropped you.
Your feet touch the ground at your residence.
Already I’m thinking backwards how the angels sent you
or they threw you out heaven window and
I came to rescue.
You hear the pain I expose when I vent to you
Pretty young thing make my feelings turn the color blue
Relaxation, wasn’t regulations, just recreation
when I chilled with you.
Them suckas still hating cause I’m ugly and
your beautiful
No Dej loaf you my sainity a halo.
When prison walls constricted on me,
you was my, devilish angel
I’m a connoisseur of her parts she’s my
noah’s ark.
Battling wars were back to back brawling
If I slip, in a deep pit, who you think will be,
right there to save me her, hands and knees
crawling.
My women is a gorgeous thing God’s
sacred gift.
I wouldn’t want to wake up if shawty did
not exist
If we die and disappear I hope our souls
both lift, Look boo
I’ll by lying if I said I didn’t love you.
Trying to get you out my head but I can’t hide
the truth.
Words got qouted we done spoke it X & O’s we use
X & O letters written X & O sweet lyrics,
I’m lost for words can’t let her know
Cause this what happens when you let a hitta
get to close
Or when you let me kiss your body head to
your toes
You done gave me the key and I unlocked the door
I love the way you stare at me peircing my soul.
We intertwine like margaritas you my aquafina
would call you mammacita but you more a classic chicka
Who ever lost you is deppressed cause your more
than a keeper.
I pray for you before I rest I hope I never leave
you. Money don’t intrigue you. You see between
the evil without you I catch a fever
You my blue sky to a cloudy day
or the sunshine when the rain fades.
No matter what they talking about don’t ever go away.
Cause I get in my feelings when you walk away.
Don’t leave me like a stranger
I know that time can change you
I threw away my banger to get your heart stuck in tangles
Every time I think about you a star blows up
I know you feel the same about me, don’t betray
my trust.
by redclay | Dec 19, 2019 | Detention Center Writing Contests, Poetry
Hate Dies, Love Arrives
Abdullah A.
Heard/Alexandria Detention Center writing contest, August, 2019
Happiness, What is happiness
When I smile at others,
And they smile back at me
That is happiness.
Your smile can change my mind
When anger wants to take control
It can loosen the tension I feel
Deep down in my soul.
When I smile at others
It affects the way they act
Quite often I’ll discover
That they are smiling back.
My smile sends out a message
About the love I share today
My love gets stronger
Each and every time that I pray
My smile is contagious
When it’s spread around
My smile can lift you up
And will never let you down
My smile is like a package
As if it’s fragile
I don’t know about tactics
But I know about smiles
My smile is passed along
As I travel through time,
I can’t help to eliminate friction
But I can help your mind
Is my smile a test
I don’t know
But my smile is the best
Which I don’t have to express.
When I want to bless someone
If only for a while
I show the love within my heart
By giving them a smile.
So with all my heart I smile
Therefor love arrives
And then whom I don’t smile
The hate arrives.
by redclay | Sep 25, 2019 | Creative Writing, Detention Center Writing Contests, Non-fiction
The Glass Window
By Michael P.
First place winner, Non-fiction, Heard/Alexandria Detention Center writing contest, August 2019
That Glass Window! If it’s clear enough, you can find your reflection. Find out who truly are. Most windows are not that clean however. Smudges, smears, fingerprints and other additional obstructions can obscure what is seemingly definite on the other side. Me and the Glass Window are like friends and enemies. A gift and a curse. Heck, we are almost like a married couple. Sometimes I am happy to be in it’s presence, to get closer to it, identify with it and other times I dread what it does to me. It taunts me, mocks me yet soothes and consoles me all at once.
More than anything else, it’s consistency reveals to me pure unadulterated truth. What a mystical concept…… I’ve noticed some people avoid it or confront it very little in their lives. They know it’s daunting power and decide that it is overwhelming or simply irrelevant. I, however, have realized that in order to grow mentally, I must alter my perception, take a seat and do what must be done. I have to look through that window.
As I sit in my small space cut off from the rest of the world, I reminice two years back, when the world, my world, was a much bigger place. My little girls are sliding down the steps backwards, belly first, laughing at the the top of their little vocal cords. “DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT AGAIN before you and Ari hurt yourselves,” their mother yells. Aly rushes up the stairs quickly, followed aimlessly by Ariyah who doesn’t know any better or simply trumps fun over risk.
The warning goes in one tiny ear and out of the other like a car with no brakes. As they both decide to defy good natured parenting and began the second round of “Fatal Stairs”, I stop them. “Listen to your mom Aly. You are five and need to be setting an example to your little sister. Be a leader,” I explain. “How about you get dressed and we go outside.” Her brown eyes squint and I can tell she wants to challenge me, but she quickly runs into her room, sister trailing close behind, laughing and screaming, “YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”
Outside, spite the sun sitting directly overhead like a spotlight on the lead stage actor, it feels just right. My two little ladies, my 2 year old in my arms while the other speed pedals on her bicycle down the block. They two caramel frappaccinos with deep brown pecan eyes and enough energy to fuel a small atv. I would say that they look like their mother but I’d be lying. Everyone believes I somehow defeated the natural mating system, pulled chromosomes from my DNA solely, placed them in a complex generating machine and viola, two mini-me’s created. But I am here to tell you, I definitely had their mother’s help.
I divert back to present day. Back to me, these walls and of course, this Glass Window. As I look out of this window at an expanse open territory, I wonder where I fit in. I am a splash of paint on the world’s canvas. In order for me to make a difference, in order for there to be change, I must grasp the concept, that one step begins with me. When you are locked away from society, in order to truly reform, you must ask yourself……
Why? Why am I here? What have I done to deserve this? Where is my next destination? When will I realize this is not the way and lastly, who am I to become? I once heard on “Bruce Almighty” Morgan Freeman spoke to Jim Carry about his careless actions and stated, “It takes a boy to make a mess, but a man to clean it up.” The simplicity in that statement is truly complex in many ways. It did wonders to my intellect.
For the longest time my windows in life were tinted, dirty, or covered with dark drapes that allowed no light in whatsoever. The world was simpler I felt. Nothing in nothing out. I was a prominent Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles except without glasses and the extraordinary fervent talent to play the piano. That at least would’ve changed my status of “splash of paint” to a “colorful collage of art” on the world’s canvas but No, a “splash of paint” I remained.
It took blue and red lights, a badge, and a robe to open my shutters wide. For some it takes less, for others that is only an appetizer. For me, it was like being brought out of the womb again, in a room full of lights and promise, in hopes that you will soon be reconnecting with that familiar warmth, only this time you can now actually see.
This window from where I sit on the fourth floor of this building offers an insightful frame of progress and rebuilding. The cars on the highway offer a steady stream of progression, even in congestion, as long as they are moving forward, there are no crashes. Homes represent, comfortability, being foundated, knowing oneself and finding a ground to establish a foothold.
Alas the construction. Decomposing and building anew. Reforming, rehabilitation, and of course renewing oneself. This window shows me my deepest desires, yet it plays on my worst fears. Failure, rejection, and ultimately my weakness. I think back once again to my 5-year-old daughter being tucked in at night before going to sleep.
As she sobs and begs for me to stay in her room with her, I whisper, “Listen love, I got you something.”
She gives me a weary look, her big eyes filled with tears and asks, “what is it Daddy?”
“I got you a night light that will keep you safe from all of monsters and will always protect you,” I say. I pull the white owl shaped glow light from behind my back and place it in her arms.
She looks amazed but with a trembling voice she asks, “What is his name?”
“That is the thing baby” I began “He needs you to name him and hold him close, what do you think will be a good fit?”
“Blessy!” she says excitedly.
“Blessy…… I like it.” I say, “you and Blessy rest easy and don’t keep him too close to your eyes sweetheart.” Goodnight Aly, goodnight Blessy.”
I kiss her forehead and as I head for the door, she asks, “Daddy, do you know why I named him Blessy?”
“No sweetheart, “Why’s that,” I counter back.
“Because God is protecting me at night and this owl is like an angel. A blessing. He’s my Blessy,” she says.
My eyes tear up as I suddenly realize a five year old just taught me what faith truly means.
As I find myself aware that I am in my cell, back to reality, I prepare for my encounter with The Glass Window. I brush my teeth, put on my jumpsuit, straight the collar, and went patiently for this anticipated moment. As the visitation door pops open, my anxiety grows like a shadow does from the rising sun.
Suddenly I see a familiar face, although this face is accompanied with many changes. She’s almost a foot taller, hair longer, slim and wearing a blue sundress with miniature flowers all over it. When she sees me, her face lights up like the 4th of July Fireworks on a starry night and my heart instantly skips a beat. She’s beautiful to say the least. I pick up the phone and dial in my pin. She picks up on the other side of the glass window.
After about 10 seconds, her voice booms through the receiver, “Daddy, I miss you!”
She’s seven now and I cannot believe that it’s been two years since I last tucked her in at night. We speak about school, her favorite shows, her amazing friends, her brother and sister and many other new and exciting things that I’ve missed. She is like a pouring waterfall that’s never ending. I gaze at her wonderful toothless grin and laugh. She is blooming beautifully and my heart aches to hold her.
That Glass Window is in my way.
Blocking me from physical connection, us as humans desire wholeheartedly. I want to break it, run to her, promise I will be home soon, kiss her bubbly cheeks, but I know the repercussions. That glass window gives me a peak into freedom. An appetizer; bird food to a tiger which is ultimately no real satisfaction. It is just enough to tease into wanting more.
I focus on her eyes, her personality, and her new attitude. My baby has grown up into a little young lady.
At this precise moment I know what my aspirations are. I understand that this window has shown me what I from gaining if I continue down a destructive path. This is my revelation, walking through Dante’s Inferno in search of retribution.
I approach my metaphorical glass window with Windex and determination and begin to wipe away the doubt, the fears, the debris that has blocked my view from seeing what is truly important. As the visit ends and my daughter begins to leave, she rushes back and places her head on the Glass Window. I do the same. I feel perplexed, electrified and accelerated as our souls connect.
We say our “I love yous” and goodbyes and at that very moment, I know we will be okay.
Inspired by and dedicated to my three children. Aliyana, Ariyanh, and Alijah Pixley. I strive to be a better for them daily and pray I return to them soon.
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