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 Sthephen Y.

 Non-fiction, Heard/Alexandria Detention Center writing contest, August 2019

Note: This story was originally written in Spanish, and translated by a Heard team member. After reading the story we contacted the staff at the Alexandria Detention Center and forwarded the story to them so they could support the inmate.

I feel depressed because there is no way out of this hell.  I am surrounded by memories of my past.  There are people I love and do not have at my side.  Nobody can understand my situation and if anyone can it’s because he is sitting in a prison cell.  And the cure for this depression is being able to write, so that he who has not known this life, and thinks he has suffered, changes his way of thinking and feels blessed.  Because I will tell you what it is like to stay in the land of the forgotten.

It is difficult and brings me great sorrow to be behind this glass and see my mother and not be able to touch her.  My world feels cold, the only comfort she can offer is to tell me, “My son, my God is with you.”  And I respond, Thank you, my sweet mother, I know He is the only one who will allow you to be by my side again.

It pains me to see how my days fly by and I am here with no diploma because I did not listen to the advice of my grandmother.  I ended up locked in a cell.  My beautiful children will ask why I am not with them, and I lie, and tell them I’ll be there very soon.  The truth is that I no longer even know who I am.  Much less what day it is, I’ve lost count, and my only goal is to survive.

I had a love who always swore she’d love me, but right from the start all she did was forget me.  Now my faithful comfort is our memories, which remain forever in my heart and mind, and I hope never to see you again because today I am in search of someone who can heal me.  I wish you the best, and hope that your new love can give you what you couldn’t find with me.

Forgive me for having left you alone.  I want you to know that my only wish was to always be at your side, but the mistakes of my past did not allow that and today, from a prison cell, I have confessed my failures to you and the reason for which I can no longer remain at your side.  But to you I don’t matter because now you have forgotten me, laid me aside.

My friends the two priests played me and made many false promises and in the end they all judged me and criticized me and finally abandoned me.  My best friend betrayed me, he slept with my wife and didn’t have the guts to tell me, never even mentioned it.  I never faltered in my support for her and all the love I felt for her — but that betrayal killed it.

Mamacita, be calm, I don’t resent you.  Why spend words on you, that’s only a waste of breath.  I wish you all the luck in the world, I tell you this from deep in my heart.

I leave you with some of these thoughts of mine, which are my life experiences and honest feelings.    My freedom has been stolen and I live all my days with the deepest darkness that has ever befallen me.

This is a story which I hope in its short telling may be of use to those who have everything.

And if you, who are outside, think that you have failed in some way — well come and put yourself in my place so that you can see how one feels to be trapped in this madhouse.

Give thanks to God every day for your blessings since you don’t live like I do in a world of sorrow.

Punishment and Redemption

Punishment and Redemption

Jonathan C.

Third place winner, Non-fiction, Heard/Alexandria Detention Center writing contest, August, 2019

            When I first began thinking about issues of criminal justice, I had imagined that the problem was a lack of effective, humane, and beneficial alternatives. I was wrong. Alternatives that contribute to the heath and healing of criminals, victims, and the larger society are currently in use around the world, and hand has been available for centuries.

The primary problem is not an absence of viable alternatives to our current punitive response, but rather a problem of knowledge and of will. The average citizen is unaware of the alternative, in large measure due to the systematic refusal on the part of those in control to inform them. As a consequence, there seems to be no alternative but to punish.

Given the fear and anger that average citizens harbor, their punitive response is both understandable and predictable. The tragedy is that many in power who do know of the alternatives have chosen to ignore them and instead to pander to the fears and prejudges of the masses. Ignoring all the evidence that something better is available, they operate instead out their desire to get even, and in doing so contribute to a broader spirit of punishment. Politicians and the media have lulled many people into thinking that there is only one way to deal with criminals: “Lock them up and throw away the key.”

Restorative justice, according to Jonathan L. Chambers, brings, “Victims, offenders, and the community together with government and repairing injuries caused by crime.”  This brand of justice emphasizes on repairing all of the injurie parties including victims, offenders, and the community. I completely understand that all the relationships among the parties implicated in the circle of crime are in need of healing and retortion according to Van Ness, Restorative Justice.

When men and women are released from prison, they return to a society that views them with fear, anger, and suspicion. The public fears that those who are released will return to the old ways that led the, to prison in the first place. It is not an unfounded fear, as over half of those released commit crimes for which they are rearrested, convicted, and IMPRISONED.

The recidivism rate in our nation is astoundingly high, leading some analysts to refer to prison as a “revolving door” through which the same people often pass two, three, or more times. This is not surprising for prison is not a place of punishment. Rather than being prepared for a new way of life, most men and women in prison are simply biding their time until they get out. The Alexandria Adult Detention Center has welcomed some of the best programs contributed to a successful reentry back into society, programs being, Sober Living, Thinking for a Change, G.E.D.O.A.R., Life Learning, ESL, Anger Management, Life Skills, CSB Home Planning, Mental Health, ATSSA Flagger Certification Training Corse.

These inside net-work groups are in place to give. The returning ex-offender the tools for a successful transition and reentry back to society and a wealth of knowledge, friendships, and program resources, linking people on the inside with the people on the outside. The gap separating those on the inside from those on the outside is almost as insurmountable as the gap that separated the rich man and Lazarus, stereotypes, misunderstandings, cultural differences, fears, prejudice, and ignorance all stain the tenuous relationships.

Building a relationship that can survive for the long haul is an important task that takes time, patience, and understanding. Everyone will face opportunities and closed doors, but possibility is available, we are given the opportunity to welcome the resources provided though reentry. While it is never ours to know the end of the story, the experience of many is that when hospitality and supports are provided, a new life flourishes. I can name a number of men and woman who are living productive, loving lives because they have received the hospitality of a loving network community. Speaking of the conversation of the criminal justice system inevitably involves us in public policy.

While it is impossible to legislate mortality, it is certainly possible to create public policies that either enhance or impede justice, truth and goodness. One cannot expect radical conversation though public policies developments alone, of course since public are the product of debate and comprise. The best I can hope to do is to set a direction that, overtime result in a fundamental paradigm shift from a punitive to a restorative goal.

Our current polices are in need of fundamental conversation. There are a number of policy issues that must be addressed. Finally, our society must come to terms with the necessity of appropriate training for criminal justice, especially jail personal, prison guards, and probation and parole staff, are hired without sufficient regard to their motivation. To their capacity for human interaction with persons whom they guard or supervise, there motivational skills to deal with difficult persons in challenging circumstances. Just as the prisoners need training in alternatives to violence, conflict management and human interaction, so too the criminal justice personal. Criminal behavior among juveniles and adults in America, is often linked to the behavior of the generation before them the criminal activity of their parents, grandparents, and care takers. Parents are a child’s primary source of learning. So when parents display deviant behaviors, their children are likely too adopt similar kinds of behavior.

Children adopt some behavior patterns that are characteristic of the larger culture. Despite the fact that many children never intend to choose a life of crime, they are often drawn in to such a life as a result of negative influences, behaviors and lifestyle.

Furthermore, the criminal activity of each succeeding generation tends to be more violent. Our youth are contending with hard-core problems and failing critical behavioral decisions at an age when they are terribly vulnerable to outside pressures. Most young adolescents seem to be lacking a clear sense of themselves, and proper upbringing, such as myself, I ended searching for identity via trial and error. Breaking the chains starts with me, for me and my family and it starts now.

Special Thanks…

God the Father and the Holy Spirit, (Chaplin Contee,

(Pastors of the Life Learning Program

(Discipling Ministry Group

(-Inmate Services- L. Erven, G. Wright, Mr./Mrs. Stubble Field

(R. Harrison, K. Sofnia

(- Mental Heath Staff

(- O.A.R, Mr. Phil and Mr. Mustfa

 

Tears to God – Alexandria Detention Center Writing Contest August 2019

Tears to God
Terri M.

Heard/Alexandria Detention Center writing contest, August, 2019

The tears coming down my face,
only to go drip drop to the floor
Nobody to wipe the tears away,
and nobody to comfort a hurt soul
As I look to God for comfort,
praying for my pain to ease
Crying out the deeply cause,
for only God to hear
Ready for God to take control,
to give me inner peace
In a place I never wanted to be,
now only to see the blessings
Take away the wrongs in my life,
as I repent my sins to Jesus
Let my heart be open to you Lord,
for your unconditional love
As I cry these tears Lord,
only in my Fathers presence
Only to have the Holy Spirit,
stop these free-flowing tears
Finally replacing them with,
the greatest gift He can give
Receiving the inner peace I longed for,
and the salvation of everlasting life
Never ashamed or scared to call on God,
for any wants, needs, or even repentance
For His unconditional love on earth,
is all I need to survive!